Thank You

I just wanted to quickly say thank you to everyone who read my previous blog post.  It was extremely hard for me to type out such a private struggle and make it public for the world to see.  I knew I had to do it though, as I said in my post, this was hugely therapeutic to me. I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders and that I could finally breathe.  Keeping such a huge trial a secret is such a burden, and lonely, so I'm glad I can freely and openly talk about it now.  I was chatting w/ a friend who went through a similar experience as we did and she said it perfectly..she could only talk openly about her experience because it ended in success.  Some people cope with their infertility struggles by openly talking about the experience as they were going through it. For me this was the complete opposite. I didn't want to talk about it at all. I rarely discussed it and when I did, I left out my deepest darkest feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, devastation, jealousy of others, and the list goes on and on.  If I was still going through this struggle, I wouldn't open up about it.  Only now that I'm pregnant I feel like I can express everything we've been through. I got an enormous amount of support with my infertility blog post. I couldn't believe the number of people who not only commented on my blog but also emailed me privately.  I found out that there were so many people out there who had struggled to conceive themselves.  People who had 4 children of their own had struggled to have one or were struggling to have more..this surprised me. I found myself assuming that those with children got those children easily, sort of like how people assumed we could get #2 easy since we had Trent. I ate my own advice when I said "never assume" in my last post.  I had two goals in writing my blog, one was to release my secret, and two was to possibly help others who are struggling to conceive. I wish I had read a blog post like mine while I was trying to conceive, it would've helped me immensely. So thank you again to everyone who wrote me either on here, through facebook, or email. It's so nice to get support from those around you when you do something courageous (this took a lot of courage and inner strength for me since I was so private).
Yesterday was Christmas. Not only did I have an amazing Christmas with my family but I got possibly the best gift I could ask for...I felt the baby move for the first time in my belly. My eyes swelled up with tears and it took everything to hold them back in front of family. I never thought I'd ever get to experience this precious feeling again.  It just reminded me that I have SO much to be thankful for! The Lord has blessed us sooo much! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, we sure did!